To me, the web once seemed like a vast, boundless land, a place to freely nurture our ideas and help us grow as human beings. It held promise: the ability to discover, create, and engage meaningfully. But somewhere along the way, that experience shifted. Instead of being something to enrich and inspire, it ended up overwhelming me, pulling me into distractions that'd completely drain me and distract me from my goals. Reading ended up feeling like a chore—too often I'd be sucked into blogs that would be reduced to shallow takes or it'd be 'intellectual' musings that'd feel too abstract, as if they were written to impress rather than to connect.

We scroll endlessly, yet absolutely nothing feeds your soul, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Reclaim your digital space—choose to seek out ideas and experiences that ignite passion and curiosity. Don’t wait for inspiration to algorithmically find you; search actively, question relentlessly, and let the things that matter emerge in their own time.

I’m starting to write again. Not for the perfection, but to feel something—maybe help others feel something too. Writing has become difficult; it feels like every original thought has already been rewritten, diluted, and repeated until it’s void of meaning. It's so hard just to sit and write anything of value, but I must cope with the hard truth that this is for myself. I'm writing to help articulate my feelings, to save myself.

I forget I can write and not in the way I'd call myself a writer but in a way that I can simply pick up my laptop & just type, it's honestly a blessing I take for granted to share any of your thoughts at a whim, merely knowing your cherished are a text away.

I feel myself being sucked into the wrong wormholes lately, days drag on [external stimulus consumption in between mandated tasks] & I've finally begun to realise I might actually be self-destructive especially with the relationships I hold, and in some way this is a cry for help, more so a plea—for you reading this to not hold anything towards me, I'm scared sometimes I'll be like this forever [it's been exactly a year] & in some twisted irony as I write this it happens again.

My log is completely down, I haven't written on there in forever. Hopefully it's all back up by the end of this week so I'm not having a complete crisis over the fragility of my very few friendships or the constant state of panic over what becomes of my present.

And to aisha & marci (♡-_-♡), I pray for you guys always.