2021-05-19 - Four days after a friendly-but-awkward nurse stabbed me with a needle containing encoded mrna instructions that mutate my cells to grow funny proteins so my immune system will attack them and learn to defend itself against future encounters against the deadly virus sweeping the globe, in a strange internal war-game of sorts

Awwwwwwwwww yeah baby


2021-05-04 - About to postpone my wedding for the second year running due to the pandemic

I've loved fantasy books since I was a kid. As I grew older, it was an obvious truth of the universe that I'd write one someday. Like: the sun comes up, the sun goes down, water is wet, and I'm going to write a fantasy book. That sort of obvious.

Escapism always had a part in that, if I'm honest. And worldbuilding is, in some ways, an ultimate expression of escapism: you create a whole world to live in that's not here.


2021-02-09 - just finished working, later than I'd prefer

I've brewed beer on and off for a long time now. For the first time, I've had a beer in my head, worked out a recipe, refined the process, brewed it, and it's turned out exactly how I'd first pictured it. It's always special, when you can pick up a new art form and create something just as you imagine.


2020-12-17 - not festive yet

Since I've been young, I've had a recurring daydream about having infinite time. Usually it's some rendition of: "What if you were locked in a room with [object/song/goal] for all time? How would you act? How would your interaction with that object change over the millenia?" It's kind of fun to think about. How deep would your understanding of that thing become? How would your relationship with it change?

That's how the daydream goes most of the time, anyways. Sometimes it's more realistic. More: "What if I were in a remote place for the rest of my life, and didn't have any obligations beyond making what I wanted to make?"


2020-12-1 - not a perfect day, but not a disaster

Time is like a glitchy treadmill: sometimes it goes faster than you'd expect. But I guess it's December already. It's been a productive few months since I dropped by. I've written a bunch, worked a bunch, brewed some beer. Many things are the same, some of them are different. How's that for a specific update.

I took a trip to a cabin in the woods, by myself. I wanted to see how much I could write in a week, with as few distractions as possible. That was part of what I meant when I said "productive" in the last paragraph. Recently, I've also been curious what my "perfect day" looks like. Not, like, a single great day on vacation. But the routine, normal, bread-and-butter sort of day. It's a harder question to answer than you'd expect. I used the trip to experiment.

My perfect day looks like this: Wake up early, but not too early. Drink coffee and eat a light breakfast. Write until lunchtime. Work out (including stretching). Shower. Eat a light lunch. Write some more until I feel like I'm done writing. Play music for a while. Make dinner. Read until bed. Go to sleep late, but not too late.


2020-08-15 - several months on. 7 days from when my wedding was originally scheduled. 364 days from when my wedding is currently scheduled.

Lots has happened since the last post. And also, very little has changed. We've gotten very used to being at home. A bread baking phase has come and gone. We've done various bits of home improvement (hello new bike racks). Everyone's gotten a lot better at dealing with video calls.

In some ways it's very easy. I'm a natural introvert and am fairly comfortable with limiting my human contact to glancing blows through the computer screen.

In other ways, it's very hard. We realized, a few weeks back, that we hadn't left our urban neighborhood in several months. So we rented a car and drove up north to stay at an Airbnb. Driving along the coast, looking at the waves, I felt a deeper happiness than I'd felt for a long time. I guess, sometimes, deep longing: it creeps up on you.


2020-03-26 - having left the house twice in the last three weeks

I read an article that says people are baking bread like crazy right now because it gives them a feeling of control in a turbulent time. But also, I just made some really tasty bagels.


2020-03-16 - hours after a lockdown was declared for san francisco and surrounding counties on account of the deadly pandemic sweeping the planet, wreaking havoc on families, lives, and economies.

Man the world's a mess right now.


2020-01-20 - last hours of the long weekend I'll spend awake

Back at my apartment, and my fiancee is back too. Weird thing, though. She was abroad for a wedding and a volcano erupted. Covered a big city in ash. And it threatened to erupt again, when her travel plans called for her to be even closer. Admittedly, I've never worried about a volcano before, but life throws some curveballs I guess.

Well, anyways, we noped her right out of there, routing her through Korea on the way back. But before we changed her travel, there was some real fear involved, on everyone's part. Whoo-ee.


2019-12-31 - a few hours before the new year's party

I've been at home, which is why it's been quiet on the ol' tilde.

Home is good. Thanks for asking. It's really nice to see folks, and I'm fortunate that there are so many to see. But seeing all of them takes a lot of time.

A strange trend is that no one seems super thrilled with life. Not, like, cripplingly so (for the most part), but more like quietly dissatisfied.

Maybe that's an age thing. Folks starting to see where things might come out and that finality bringing a little sadness, even if "where it might come out" isn't such a bad spot.

That's a total fallacy, of course. It ain't over till it's over, and all. But I can see where that kind of thinking would come from.

I was walking in the woods with a friend when she revived an old idea from college. Just fucking off and living with a bunch of friends in a castle-y kinda place out in the middle of nowhere. Sounded kinda good, actually.


2019-12-20 - eight hours before my morning flight home

The festive spirit continues. Had one party on a boat. That was not great. Had another party at the museum of modern art. Also not great. Had one party at a house. That was lovely.

The people didn't know each other well, at first. But the space was small, the wine was flowing, and the ice broke quickly. I got "Sons of Anarchy: Men of Mayhem" (the board game) as a white elephant gift. Can't ask for much more than that.


2019-12-16 - after the xmas thing

The xmas thing went well. Food was good. Gifts were good. Company was good.

Sometimes I think holiday cheer is trite and contrived. Sometimes I don't.

File tonight under "don't".


2019-12-15 - before bed

We went camping this weekend. Did some outdoor climbing, which was fun.

We were tired afterwards. But we're hosting an xmas thing tomorrow. So we went to safeway to buy lots of stuff.

Driving home, I was looking at the news. I saw a few-days-old story about a college girl who was stabbed/killed in New York City. The girl's name was familiar, so I looked her up.

Turns out, her dad was my undergrad creative writing professor.

Stand up guy, her dad. He was handed a cushy life and gave it the middle finger so he could become successful his own way. And he did become successful. Published a few books, became a tenured creative writing professor. I spent a lot of time in his office. Got loads of great advice I didn't follow.

My creative writing professor. His daughter was stabbed to death in a park in New York City.

I didn't know his daughter. But from the articles I've read, seems like she was cut from the same cloth as him. Rebellious, gifted, cool. "Shone brightly," said one article. She played bass and sang in a few bands. Liked to write. Studied journalism.

The articles also said: his daughter was stabbed to death by pair of boys, aged 13 and 14. Just kids. They lived in a bad part of town.

...how are you supposed to feel about that?


2019-12-13 - sometime in the evening

My cat is named Penny.

I'm not.

I'm guess I'm here because I write things.

Sometimes I write things that are prose. I'm trying to write a book that way.

Sometimes I write things that are code. This is one of those things. I do it professionally, too.

I have to confess that I have another website. But it has needs. It needs to be pretty heavy-weight, since it uses all sorts of javascript to show how professional I am. It also needs to say pretty professional things, to show that I can say pretty professional things.

It's nice to create a space that doesn't have any needs.